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The real deal on crushes, dating, and what God actually says
You've probably heard youth pastors say "don't date" or "wait until you're 30" or some other impossible standard. That's not what we're doing here. The Bible doesn't have a verse that says "Thou shalt not date in high school."
But it DOES have a lot to say about love, purity, wisdom, and protecting your heart . And honestly? Most of that advice would save you a ton of drama if you actually applied it.
Real talk: You're probably overthinking it. But here's what the Bible says about discernment:
"Actions speak louder than words" - James 2:17
(Paraphrased: Faith without works is dead. Apply this: Words without actions are empty.)
If someone likes you, their actions will show it. They'll:
If you're confused about where you stand? That's your answer. Real interest isn't confusing.
This is the one everyone wants a loophole for. Here's what the Bible actually says:
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" - 2 Corinthians 6:14
Context: Paul is talking about partnerships. A yoke is the wooden beam connecting two oxen pulling a plow. If they're pulling in different directions, nobody goes anywhere.
Here's the hard truth: Dating is practice for marriage. If you marry them, they become the spiritual leader of your household (if you're a girl) or your lifelong partner in raising kids, making decisions, and navigating life (either gender).
Can you really build a life with someone who doesn't share your most important values? Who thinks your faith is cute but not true? Who won't pray with you, won't go to church, won't raise your kids to know Jesus?
Common Myth: "I can change them"
No. You can't. Missionaries date to marry missionaries, not to convert their partner. If you're dating someone hoping they'll "eventually" become Christian, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak or compromise.
Good question. Being "equally yoked" isn't just about checking the "Christian" box. It means:
✓ Same Direction
You're both pursuing God, not just going through the motions
✓ Same Pace
One isn't dragging the other to church or having to beg them to pray
✓ Same Standards
You agree on purity, honesty, and how to honor God in the relationship
✓ Same Vision
You want the same kind of future (ministry? kids? lifestyle?)
Two Christians can still be unequally yoked if one is serious about faith and the other just shows up on Easter.
Everyone wants to know: "How far is too far?" Wrong question. Better question: "What honors God and protects us both?"
"Flee from sexual immorality" - 1 Corinthians 6:18
Notice it says FLEE. Not "see how close you can get without sinning." Not "it's fine as long as it's not technically sex." RUN from situations that compromise purity.
Here's why physical boundaries matter:
Practical Boundary Ideas:
The Bible says "above all else, guard your heart" (Proverbs 4:23). Here are signs you need to RUN:
Love is patient (1 Cor 13:4). Pressure isn't love.
Healthy relationships make you better, not isolated.
God is unchanging. Your partner should be stable too.
If dating them makes you compromise your faith, it's wrong person.
Proverbs says there's safety in many counselors. Listen to them.
1 Corinthians 13 isn't just wedding sermon material. It's the blueprint:
Patient & Kind
Not rushing, not mean when frustrated
Not Jealous or Boastful
Secure, not controlling or showing off
Not Proud or Rude
Humble, respectful, kind to others
Protects & Trusts
Guards your heart, no games
Perseveres
Works through conflict, doesn't bail
Hopes & Believes
Brings out your best, cheers you on
Dating isn't wrong. But dating without wisdom? That's where you get hurt. The Bible's advice isn't about restricting your fun - it's about protecting your heart .
This week: Write down 3 specific boundaries (physical, emotional, digital). Share them with one person you trust.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4:23